With a lot of work.
Especially with a man who has been spurned before he met you. Even without that it's tough getting a man to trust a woman. Being this is a long distance relationship it's double duty.
Every day he talks to people and they talk back, telling him how things are going to be in the world of marriage and family. Some of it he doesn't like others he's looking forward to. It's the stuff that he doesn't like that are my biggest grief. Most of it isn't true or not specific to our relationship or are not who I am at all. It's a lot to ask anyone to ignore the advice or information given by long time friends and family. To listen and trust a person who's only entered your life 7 months ago.
On top of that, like most men (and children) they don't see all the work that is put into a home and homemaking. The world of a housewife is so out of their territory that most of what is explained seems weird or extreme. "There really can't be that much work." "It's not hard at all."
With a long drawn out discussion, that hasn't yet ended, I have been attempting to explain this to Mr. Berry. For all the hard work he does the only equivalent to his efforts is for me to do the same. I have never had anything against work. I would love to have had a job all these years that would have allowed me to solely provide for my children and have a little savings. Sadly that has not been. Which has Mr. Berry putting it upon himself to make it up. I love him for this.
To make it up to him I have plans to be the best wife, housekeeper and mother ever. To do this requires that I do opposite of what he has in mind. If I were to go to work a full day it would create more stress upon him to get us all to where we need to be for the day. We'd all come home to nothing but an empty house. Scramble to make dinner, prep for the following day, get the kids to bed and get some sleep ourselves. We'd have a very hard time just enjoying being man and wife. Our day would start at 5 AM with no definite end in site. I would hate for this to be how our first year together started out.
So with much discussion and frustration we finally reached the agreement that for now I would stay home and tend kids. Bringing in some money and still having the ability to create the house he's providing for into a home. I pray that with this he will never feel unappreciated, unsupported or as if he is carrying all the load of family life.
3 Imput from the world outside:
Oh Honey, Give it all up in prayer for guidance. The first year is hard enough mixing into a marriage. Add to that jobs. PHEW it's too much. ~;>
Much love,
Mal
Where have I been?!
I didn't know you are getting married! I am so excited for you. I am totally with you on staying home. My family would be a mess if I worked full-time! I do have a part time gig, but it's only a few hours a week!
I am sure as long as you keep talking things out you can make it work! Congrats!
I finally got you back. Man, was blogspot icking out. :O)
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