Uninspired

So many times I sit here staring at the computer screen with a will to write. There is so much to tell and yet I just don't have the heart to compose them. Either they seem insignificant or it's an unfinished thought. Most of the time I just want to write one or two lines but it seems unfair to describe the events in such a short context. If it's not that I'm just blabbing on and on never getting to the heart or the meat of the story/event.

Here are just an example of what I have thought to post but obviously haven't. Perhaps just by jotting them down it will inspire me to continue the rest of the story(ies).

Parenting with the guidance and directions found through out the scriptures. So many accounts of families and their struggles and joys of every day life are recorded that there is plenty to write and learn from to achieve a more real success as a parent. I have for so long been detached from the experience as a whole that just by doing a very minimal amount of study and research into the scriptures has brought me closer to the reality of what my role and life is as a mother. It's also given me a jumping board to initiate household rules, virtues and standards as we get closer from being a family of 3 to 4 and taking on the full responsibilities of running my own home once more.

Family upgrade and activities. This fall we will be welcoming a new member to our family, Mr. Berry. Every month since we met in February Mr. Berry has been making the commute from Wyoming to Utah Valley to be with us. With each visit we have had the pleasure of deepening our relationship, eat meals together, cruise the towns, laze on the couch, share bedtime stories and just this weekend learned to ride a bike for the first time. We've gone to the carnival, fireworks displays, Chuckie Cheese's, shopping and the park. We've all grown quite attached. The kids choose his hands over mine when crossing the street. Bina has forgotten how to use her feet and has wrapped him around her little finger to be carried every where we go. Charlie enjoys having someone to teach him all the things he needs to know about being a boy. It's been a very interesting and rewarding experience of love for all of us. We've gone from being a broken family and alone to a complete unit. Still in the transition mode but as each day, week, month passes we learn how to adapt, figure out the kinks and work towards the final goal.

Personal Improvement. With all this has come a greater appreciation for ME. Who I am. Who I am becoming and who I want to be. It's been year of re-evalutaion that has yet to produce a concrete result but the minor differences have created a ripple effect that has been helpful in reaching that goal of personal self worth and satisfaction.

With so much going on, why can't I just jot them down? I've heard and been told that by just forcing oneself to do it, it comes and gets easier. So here's to force, inspiration and a new post tomorrow.